Sunday, 10 May 2015

Diary of A Doubtful New Mother : Mother's Day Edition

Moments on my 9th month pregnancy
Dress: Marc New York by Andrew Marc, also adore this and this
Pumps: Navyboot, also love this and this, Mantel: Hallhuber, similar here (on sale!) also adore this
Note: These pictures were taken during my 9th month pregnancy by my dear friend Stephanie.
There are several days in a year that could move my emotion so deeply. This year another two days made this list longer which are; my daughter Rania's birthday and Mother's Day.
Both days remind me of how hard it is to be a mother.
Sometimes I couldn't believe that I am officially a mother. Not because I am not happy to become one, but I can't believe that I have the honour to receive such a beautiful bless.

Before I became a mother, life was most of the time just about me, me and always me.
My routine was around spending time together with J, working, coffee klatch with my friends, sometimes hitting the clubs in Zurich.
The moment when I had pregnancy check up and saw Rania, she was still thirteen millimeter.
It was the turning point of my life. I realize that my life won't be the same again.

But I don't mind at all.
At the beginning I had no idea how my life will be with a child. I was thinking, perhaps after a couple of months I will look unkempt, scruffy, or ... (fill the blanks). The kind of situation where you just want to destroy every mirror in your house. Of course at the beginning I was stressed and had to fight with my new routine, lack of sleep is definitely my daily menu. Sometimes I doubt of myself, whether I could really raise my child well (other parents will have the same thoughts, I guess).
However, I don't want to be trapped in the situation where I can't enjoy my life.
Yes, I have a child and it's a huge responsibilty forever. But having a child doesn't mean that I have to live: milk-nappy-washing clothes-repeat.
I could also put other words like fashion, writing and even blogging in between.
It is quite challenging at the beginning, how to calm myself in order to make my baby calm. Believe me, it is not easy but it is also doable. I also believe that every woman is able and strong enough to do it if they believe in themselves.

Day by day, month after month, I become calmer than the first month. There are more things to learn of course. What I have noticed, Rania is also tougher (less whiney than before).
Right now she is three months and looking so pretty. J and I are very proud of her.
Every mother wants to do the best for her children.
What if I make mistakes along the way?
This question echoed many times. However I'm really trying to gain my confidence. Because I know the term strong is indeed real. The strength planted nicely in every woman and once when she becomes a mother this virtue grows bigger and will always be there in her daily life.
Being a mother makes me realize that it is fine to make mistakes sometimes. One or two mistakes doesn't make me a bad mother, I keep telling this to encourage myself.
It is a roller coaster life that I am living now. If I tense myself, I might be frightend my whole life, but if I let myself go, I will also enjoy the ride.

On this special day, I'd like to thank the strongest woman that I've always admire.
My mother.
She was indeed one of those role models of power lady.
She taught her daughters to be independent woman and at the same time also taking care of ourselves. My mother was very strict, especially in the term of education. She was not only checking our homeworks, she was also teaching us to have nice handwriting.
When I was a kid, it felt so tough to obey those rules. I had the sentence, "I wish I could..." for so many times during my childhood.
Right now as an adult, I feel how useful they are. All of those 'strict rules' made me who I am now. Those rules of hers crafted my mind and also my body to be automatically behave decent and proper. She gave us all more than love but also value to perform ourselves to the world.
And for those, I can't thank my mother enough.
If she were still alive, I just want to make her wishes come true. If only she's still here...
Happy Mother's Day, my beautiful Mom!
And thanks to my amazingly gorgeous daughter, today I can say to myself,
"Happy Mother's Day!"



  1. What a beautiful post Ika! I hope your first mothers day was a memorable one and a taste of many more to come. You look absolutely stunning in these pictures! To me you are doing such an excellent job with Rania, you are so fashionable as ever and look like a natural with this whole new motherhood phase of your life. I am sure one day Rania is going to thank you for being a wonderful mother to her like your mother was to you. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness with Rania and J!

  2. Happy belated Mother's Day Ika! You are already an amazing mother. You wouldn't doubt yourself if you wasn't. It's okay to make mistakes (we all do). The only important thing is that you love your Rania and that you want the best for her. Enjoy your motherhood. I don't think there's anything better than being a mom. I'm sure your own mother would be proud of you. Sadly my mom isn't alive anymore too but I'm sure they still watch over us. Wish you a wonderful day sweetheart!

  3. I hope that you spent the splendid Mother's Day♡
    I want to grateful to my mother again.
    Thank you for your great word.


  4. Happy belated Mother's Day Kak Ika!! I haven't married or have a child yet, but becoming mother is probably the most bizarre and amazing moment in woman life. Don't be afraid, you will gonna be a superb Mommy for Rania :)) Wish for a great day Kak :))

  5. hope you had a wonderful Mother's day, my dear,
    I have no child yet but being a mother must be one of the most overwhelming experience for a woman,
    wish you and Rania all the best

  6. Happy belated Mother's day! That dress is absolutely stunning.


  7. Thanks for sharing your story, it gives me the confidence that I can lead a well-balanced life even if I have a baby one day! Happy belated Mother's Day, you look beautiful!


  8. You are looking so happy, being pregnant is the most magical thing ever !!!

    Love, Jennifer

  9. what a lovely and touching post!!! you look beautiful!! It is such a blessing to be a mother! x