|Dress: bought in Turkey, Bag: Liu Jo, Ankle Boots: Högl|
Photos of Rania & Me: Stephanie
Photos of Rania: Me
The most valuable thing we could give to someone. We can make time but we cannot regain time.
I realize how valuable every second we have in life even more and more since I have child.
I took six months maternity leave. On 3rd August I will have to be back to the office.
Six months feels like a flashlight. It happened so quick.
My heart is weeping, demanding to have another six months just to take care of Rania. On the other hand I have a job. Although I reduce my office hours from four days to two days in a week, it doesn't make any different how hard it feels to leave her on my working days.
Rania has started last week at day care. During settling in phase she was doing fine. The first three days we started only one hour and I was always around. On the fourth day was the first good bye; I had to leave her for 30 minutes. I couldn't describe how my feeling before that day came.
I cried on the way to day care. Thinking of leave her to someone else even for 30 minutes overwhelmed me.
I know, it's a process.
My daughter needs to know the world. She has to learn and discover new things.
Play, learn, socialize. Every human being is having the same process, normally.
But the four letters LOVE could really overtaking your everything.
Perhaps my mind on that day was even worse than any messy thing could ever existed.
During 30 minutes I was not so far from the day care, sipped my macchiato with tons of worries.
So many thoughts played in my mind like an never ending movie.
I keep questioning myself, "Am I be able to be a working mother? If I cannot bear leaving her in 30 minutes and how can I leave her for two days?" or "Am I going to cry every time I bring her to day care?"
How hard must have been for mothers who need to leave their children in day care five days in a week because they have to earn money for their kids.
On 24th this month Rania just turned six months.
Again, time passes very quick.
It feels like yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant and now my baby is already half a year. Knowing I will be back to work soon, I just want to treasure every second with her.
Every second that I give to her will be captured and stored in my memory. I want to collect every second of those memories and keep them save in my brain library.
I want to collect them although I have very little rest and countless sleepless nights.
What I can do is to collect every second as much as I could.
For the sake of those memories.
Because I cannot regain those seconds with her.
And today, I will let Rania takes over my blog post.
This beautiful girl is Rania Jade. I am very proud to introduce her to you all as my daughter.